My (newly) 5 year old daughter is one of those kids who missed the September cutoff for Kindergarten, so she had to wait another year before entering. She went to a preschool last year that we all loved very much. Due to the ease of travel for this year, we switched her to another highly rated preschool in our area..... She has a good time there, and seems to learn a lot. Because I work full time, I can only get her from school on Fridays and we have an entourage of people who help out for Mondays and Wednesdays it seems. It all works out fine, and I'm very thankful of that. I'm also very thankful to have a great job, that I (for the most part) enjoy. They are also forgiving and allow me to partake in some events here and there with KT's class as long as I make up my work at home or stay after at work to get things done. Since I'm so busy, I don't get to do this often, but I decided last month that I really should make an appearance. I am off on Fridays, but I have the little Monster with me, and she doesn't make anything easy when it comes to cooperation. I couldn't imagine going on any sort of field trip or doing something in the class without BG tearing the joint down, having a temper tantrum or punching some kid in the face. On Wednesdays, the kids do this activity called "Kidwriting" and they ask for parent volunteers to come in and help with the kids. Because things could change on a dime at work, with BG or another kid at the sitter's, I waited until the night before to tell KT I was coming into her class.... I was even afraid then because the last thing I wanted was to finally try and participate and have to cancel for some reason. Anyway, it worked out that we dropped BG off at the sitter's and boogied over to school.
I hear the "Why do all of the other moms come on field trips/volunteer in school/provide crafts and snacks and you don't?" all of the time, so I felt like I was scoring some points on the Mommy Meter.... I was trying not to think about the ton of stuff I had to do at work later that day.... so for 45 minutes, I was in Pre-K mode.
Here's the thing.... while I love my kids more than anything or anyone in this entire world, I'm not the biggest fan of other kids. They're pretty annoying. Sure, we have close friends and I love all of their kids and care for them as I would my own. However, I'm not one of the bubbly personality types to be overly gaggy towards kids just because they're young and cute. I talk to my kids like I'd talk to other people, with the exception of a couple funny words they say incorrectly that crack me up. Right now, KT's thing is eating "Silver Buds" (Wilbur Buds) and BG likes to play on my PiePad (ipad).... so in our house, we have Silver Buds and PiePads.
We walked in and KT started to talk a mile a minute..... Here's my owl (They have name tags shaped like owls that they hang on the tree to say they're "there." Here's my cubby; you can put your phone there. Here's where I play. This is my friend _____ . (Friend), this is my mommy. On and on and on....
The teacher came over to talk to me and asked if I was here for kidwriting. I thought, "Jesus, I signed up for the wrong day." I said, "yes" and she instructed me as to where I needed to sit and what I needed to do. I sat down in the dollhouse sized furniture (really accommodating for a 6' tall person), and just watched the kids. They were all to sit at the seat with their specific book, draw a picture on top of the page and then choose an activity to play until we were ready to do their "writing." We would call each kid over and write a sentence that described the picture they drew. The teacher does a great job with teaching them certain concepts like "th"sound is a tongue sandwich and words that end with -ing are friends with the King of Ing..... I quickly found out that best way to get them to say the letter U was to say "uhhh uhhhh Uhhhh-nderwear." They all thought it was hysterical. There were also a number of "sight words" on the board with things that were relevant for that time of year.... for instance, they had Halloween, Christmas, tree, etc. Our goal was to get them to write on the paper exactly what they heard when they said the words. It didn't really matter at this point if they spelled things like iz for is (although they did have a specific is trick too which I forget). We would get them to write out the sentence and then we went over it with them to tell them what they did right and where they could fix certain things... Honestly, they about half cared and really wanted to go play this board game that involved flipping frogs into a barrel....
During the explanation of the activity, I also got the old "It's really nice when working mom's take some time to include themselves in the classroom and take an interest into what their kids are doing in school" lecture/statement. I swear sometimes when I pick KT up on Fridays, she purposely asks me who I'm there to get..... to make it seem like I'm never around..... sigh. I just smiled and said, "glad to be here."
By this time, most of the pictures were drawn and kids were all over the room. My kid was screaming as her frogs narrowly missed the bucket.... she was told 3 times to use her indoor voice. Proud moment....as I sat there, looking like a giant on this baby chair.
My first kid was my own.... She drew a Christmas Tree. I asked what her sentence was and she said, "This is my Christmas Tree." I thought, "fantastic, let's write." We start sounding, Th-- Thhh --Thh "TONGUE SANDWICH," she screamed.... I scoffed at her to shut her yapper, but that she was right. We got This is and then she went to "my" and I thought she'd say mi, but got the y right.... It's some kind of tricky why nonsense story, but hey, she remembered and she wrote it.... Then she turned to the wall, "Christmas tree is right there." I said, "How nice of you to have almost half of the words on the board so you don't have to think about sounding them out." She smiled, "DONE!" She was allowed to get her sticker and go back to the frogs.
The next kid came to me with the same picture as KT's. I forget his name, but I said, "What's your sentence, buddy?" He said, "This is my Christmas Tree." Awesome....I got experience with this one..
Th Th Tongue Sand--- TH -- and on we went. I tried to be nice and cheerful with him, but he didn't care about kidwriting. He wanted to go play on the computer. We did our sentence with little conversation and he was on his way.
My 3rd kid was a girl. "What's your sentence?" "This is my rainbow Christmas Tree." For the love of God.... I asked another teacher if they always have the same sentence all morning....they said, "typically no, but since it's before xmas, I guess this is the deal."
Th Th --- Tongue sandwich.... She looks at me, "I can count to 1000." My response, "Awesome, well that's math... this is kid writing, so we'll count to 1000 when y'all do math. Let's figure out how to spell 'this.'" She FRANTICALLY writes a T..... then she writes H in a way I'd never seen it before.... upside down u, and then the straight line.... we get to the end of This -- issss isssss issss eh eh like igloo.... sssss she scribbles IS with a death grip on the pencil. I'm not sure if she's gonna keep writing or stab me... we get to IS.... ehhh ehhh Igloo..... she said IS AGAIN!? "yep." She got My with no difficulty, but then started with the questions, "You're KT's mom?" "Yes, I am." "I never saw you before." "this is my first time here." "You don't pick her up?" "I do on Friday. Rainbow...." I'm thinking "shit, this is gonna take me hours."
She writes a lower case r, but it looked more like a lower case n..... She goes to erase and her pencil has no eraser. I go find her an eraser.... the pencil is skinny and not think like the one without an eraser.... We talk about that for a few minutes. After writing a lower case r 5 times and erasing it, we finally got it on the 6th try. They even have a printout of all of the letters...... She was really a nice kid, but I totally don't have the patience to be a teacher... I found it out that morning. We got Christmas tree thanks to the awesome sight words board.... and she was outta there. A high 5 and a sticker and I was onto the next one.
I was wondering if the teacher picks the kids who go with the moms specifically.... I would.... I'd be shipping off the rainbow tree girl to each mom every week.
Next was the cutest little girl. She sat down and was very petite....her hair and clothes were adorable. I could tell she was pretty smart just from talking to her at first...... Then I looked at her picture...
"What is this picture?"
"I drew Joseph and Mary in the stable with the Lord, Baby Jesus."
I'm thinking about how we can simplify this.... and she said, "You're KT's mom?" "Yep." "You're the one who won't let her go to lunch box club?" (Some Mondays after school, kids can stay with a packed lunch and do activities. We haven't done this yet b/c her sitter gets her on Mondays and she's got a schedule that doesn't mesh with Lunch Box Club. We had discussed this, but just never got around to it). "It's not that she's not allowed to come. I just work kinda far away and her baby sitter picks her up after school at regular time because she's over this way to pick up her son from kindergarten." "Oh, you can't come get her because you work?" "Yea... I know, it's tough..." Then I thought to myself, "why do I feel the need to explain myself to this kid?"
"Let's get your sentence together. OK, how about, 'Here is baby Jesus?'"
Thankfully, she agreed....
She pretty much just wrote out "here is baby" without me doing anything..... I look around at the sight words... CLEARLY Jesus has to be on there. It's a very religious school...... Nope, no Jesus....
OK, Juh Juh Juh" She writes J. EEEEEEZZZZZ EEEZZZZ JEEEZZZZZ.... She wrote Jeezus..
Perfect.
We went over the correct way to spell it, she got her sticker and I was wiped out.
By this time, it's almost 9:45 AM and now I'm starting sweat about the work I need to do at work..... I excuse myself (all of the kids were done).... Gave KT a hug and was outta there....
She really liked that I came to help, and I'm glad I did too....but I was also glad to get back to my hermit geek squad nerd self back at the office with my earphones in my ears and computers at my fingertips.
Friday, December 27, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
Occupational Hazard of Parenting #19 - This won't be like this for long......
When KT was born, Darius Rucker (AKA Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish) released a song called, "This won't be like this for long." Here I was, post partum (not depressed, but just plain ole hormonal), and there's a damn song on the radio every 3 seconds about this brand new father to a baby girl, and she's a fussy baby and they're adjusting to the new parenthood thing........ and before you know it, she's in preschool and then she's grown up and married and gone. THE END. In less than 5 minutes, this brand new baby is out on her own, doing her thing, living in other states, and you're sitting there alone, wondering where the hell the time went.
This is simply too much for a new mother to even think about comprehending, so here I was, driving around the town, with a quiet baby in the backseat (she was such a good baby in the car, quite different from her younger sister), SOBBING as if I was 6 years old and someone shot my dog. I am pretty sure she hadn't yet slept through the night...let alone walked, talked, went to the potty, rode a bike, went to school, played sports, drove a car, went to prom, etc etc etc etc..... And BOOM she was out of my life.
Enter the second verse..... this baby girl is 4 years old..... she's crawling up in bed..... she's going to preschool and doesn't want to go. She's scared and sad....but then all of the sudden, she gets over it and doesn't miss her parents at all...she doesn't need us anymore! Seriously! Tears.....
I'm listening to this song and seeing this face and wondering why the hell the world is so cruel and that she's going to leave me and won't need me anymore.....
This is simply too much for a new mother to even think about comprehending, so here I was, driving around the town, with a quiet baby in the backseat (she was such a good baby in the car, quite different from her younger sister), SOBBING as if I was 6 years old and someone shot my dog. I am pretty sure she hadn't yet slept through the night...let alone walked, talked, went to the potty, rode a bike, went to school, played sports, drove a car, went to prom, etc etc etc etc..... And BOOM she was out of my life.
Enter the second verse..... this baby girl is 4 years old..... she's crawling up in bed..... she's going to preschool and doesn't want to go. She's scared and sad....but then all of the sudden, she gets over it and doesn't miss her parents at all...she doesn't need us anymore! Seriously! Tears.....
I'm listening to this song and seeing this face and wondering why the hell the world is so cruel and that she's going to leave me and won't need me anymore.....
Fast forward nearly 5 years. This same little girl is going to be 5 in a month and a half. I do not believe it. This is her second year of preschool. She'll be in kindergarten next year.
I'm driving home today, and this song came on SiriusXM..... I saw it on the radio (they flash the name/artist) before the song started to play and cracked a smile. I thought.... I got this.
2 notes into the song...I'm inconsolable...
I guess some things never change. I am pretty sure that I'll never be able to hear that song and not thing of her in the backseat of my Honda Civic.... I'm OK with that too....
The second verse came around and I can't believe she's 4 (almost 5). I can't believe she's already done the walking, talking, the crawling, potty training, she loves school. She's so perfect..... well.... I guess she has her moments, but who doesn't?
Whenever she did wake up in the middle of the night (which was infrequently), I never did get upset because they were some of the most fun, most cuddly times..... I guess that's why sometimes, even though I am exhausted, I can laugh at the fact that our 2 year old never sleeps and just wants to hang out.... some day she'll sleep....some day she'll be in college too, so I am just gonna enjoy our time.... whether it's snoozing in separate rooms or watching Yo Gabba Gabba in the middle of the night!
I am gonna just chill with my "baby" BG while she's still "small." Before I know it, she'll be in school too.... Thank God I'm gonna be an Aunt soon..... When you're in the thick of it, you think this is going to be your life forever.... changing diapers, giving baths, late night feedings, temper tantrums, fighting to get them dressed/hair brushed/teeth brushed/in bed/out of bed/wear a coat, etc etc etc etc etc etc.... but in reality, it's a blip of time.
Damn you, Hootie. :-) Seriously, the best song ever.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Occupational Hazard #18 - Fire Company Carnivals
It's been awhile since I've blogged here. I've got a list of topics to blog about longer than the list of things I need to do around the house, and had already set in my mind that I was going to blog about one of those particular topics tonight. That was before our family excursion last night..... So like everything else, that topic (along with a few others) had to take a backseat and this new, fresh, traumatic memory got the nod.
We live in South Central PA and it's "fair season" here in these parts. My husband is from South Central IL and this is a new phenomenon to him. Well, not new anymore, since he's lived in PA for nearly 15 years or so, but it still is a concept he has yet to grasp.
Many of the "carnivals" or "fairs" around here are at Fire Companies. Some are larger than others. Some have rides. Most have games. They ALL have food. When I was a kid, I remember my mom taking us to the Tomato Festival in a teeny tiny river town, Washington Boro, PA. We used to play in the playground that was home to this fair other times of the year, but the Tomato Festival was definitely a momentous occasion. I can remember playing the games as a kid and probably getting some food and having a good time. There were no rides, but the games were pretty fun and it was a bonus if we could go with a few friends. Several years had gone by and I can remember going one year - I was probably 20-22 - with an old buddy from elementary school. We laughed that the people, played a few games, had good food...it was fun. This fair actually runs for 2 consecutive Saturday nights....they usually had a band.... It is always in the middle of July, so it's so hot you can barely stand it, but that's all part of it.
Our first year back in Lancaster (2010), we had KT -- at the time she was about 19 months old or so. I remember we went to the fair and she was too young to know what was going on, BK was not interested in this type of function and it was pretty much a dud. We got some food, didn't stay long and came back home. I was kind of upset that it wasn't the world's best time, but I figured that KT was still young...give it a few years.
We didn't go the year I was pregnant with BG (2011) or last year (2012) because it was not really an option because BG wasn't up to really doing anything yet at this point last year. I didn't want to torture myself. If I remember, the weather was rainy the one week and I think the other weekend, we were busy or I just didn't have the gusto to try to accomplish this task.
So that brings us to yesterday. 7.13.13. Here we are, a family of 4. A 4 1/2 year old experienced fair attendee and frequent flyer at both of our local amusement parks, Dutch Wonderland and Hersheypark. We've got a nearly 2 year old who has already hit her terrible twos, but can usually be pacified by some food and entertainment while in her stroller -- as long as we keep moving. A 39 year old father, fresh off back surgery, who has been having a REALLY difficult time, cutting short his already short temper and patience reserves. Me, an almost (gag) 34 year old mother, tired from staying up too late the night before with my cousin and friends, but hell bent on making this fucking Tomato Festival the whirlwind of a good time it was for me as a child.
The temp was about 98 with 150% humidity. I just got my hair done that day, and my hair dresser applied some extra good product to keep from frizz... this would surely put it to the test. BK had spent the majority of the day in bed. Firstly, he took the AM shift with BG....who had just been transferred to her toddler bed the night prior. She slept all night, but was up at 5:15 AM, ready to watch "T" (tv). He hung out with her until 7 AM, and then for the most part was in bed till my hair appointment at 12:45. At that point, BG went for a nap, so he lounged with our 4 year old until I got back. I got him out of bed shortly after 4 and we were packed up and on our way.
The place was packed (as expected), we strolled our way up this huge hill and I was sweating like a pig right away. KT saw a bounce house and wanted to bounce. $2 for that action and she bounced about 30 seconds and said she was "done." The girls convinced her to go back in b/c she had more time to bounce and she promptly came down the slide and catapulted about 10 feet, twisting her ankle. Enough of that action, it's not worth getting my "money's worth" of the $2, if we're going to spend the rest of the night in urgent care.
I'm STARVING at this point. I have nothing on my mind other than food. Katie wants to win a gold fish. She wants ice cream. I had fed them some food before we left, knowing that their choices at the fair wouldn't be what they typically would like to eat. Even so, we weren't starting out with ice cream. What would I have to fall on when the meltdowns started?
A big thing at these fire company fairs is chicken corn soup. It's my favorite soup. When it's made correctly, I would eat it till I exploded. Typically, the line for the ccs is out of control. The line wasn't that bad at the moment when we checked it out, I said "let's go." They had several windows for BBQ, hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken corn soup, etc. As I maneuver the damn stroller through the sea of people and on to my window (ccs), I grabbed 2. BK was supposed to stop and get a hot dog on the way, but he didn't. He wanted fries. They were in a different part of the building. Meltdown #1 started at that moment. This fair has been going on for 56 years. I am pretty sure they have the "logistics" planned out as to why they have things in certain places. However, they have a line for the main dishes, a line for the drinks, a line for ice cream and a line for the fries. I guess I don't think twice about it, because that's how it's been as long as I can remember. Instead, we get the dissertation from BK about how he hates the way it's set up and it's stupid that the fries are not with the food. Then KT starts..........."I want ice cream." BG is a sweaty mess and trying to unfasten her buckle. We pay for the soup (no hot dogs and go out to try and find a spot to eat. BK wants to get drinks for KT....the line only has ice tea.... luckily, I packed lemonade in a sippy cup....they each down their drinks in 11 seconds. I am trying to eat my soup quickly (as I burned off every last taste bud on my tongue) and BG REALLY starts to squirm and fight being in her stroller. BK is frustrated because now the fry line is a mile long, so he gets in line for a tomato sandwich. I thought about getting one, but then I saw it was $2.50 a sandwich.... screw that idea... I'll guzzle this boiling hot soup and grab ice cream.
As BK was getting his tomato sandwich (yes, I realize this sounds weird to folks who do not grow up around here, but it's quite normal to fellow Lancastrians), KT REALLY started to grow restless.... I'm shoveling my soup in as fast as possible...it's less hot now....or maybe my tongue is numb from the boiling soup. I'm trying to stay out of everyone's way, since it's a damn free-for-all with people pushing and shoving to get into food lines and game lines and to put their chairs down in a good spot for the upcoming concert. KT says "I want ice cream." Me: "Wait." KT: "I want a fish." I gave her $1 to try for a fish. I'm still trying to eat as fast as possible. She throws the damn ping pong balls at canon speed, not even getting close to winning a goldfish (totally not sad about that one). She threw the last ball and the lady asked her if she wanted to try again. "Yes," said KT.... I was like "woah woah -- we can try again later, let me finish my soup." She came back to me, whined for money for soup and a fish, and knocked into me. In slow motion, my soup went up into the air, and landed upside down on BG's head. Granted, most of it had been eaten and had cooled off...but there were still enough juicy, hot corn bits to land on my kid and make a hell of a mess. A quarter sized blotch of soup landed on KT's ankle. She SCREAMED like she'd been set on fire. People start looking, KT's screaming. BG's covered in soup and BK is screaming "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED" as he inhaled his tomato/bacon sandwich. I'm practically in tears and thinking I burned my kids, pissed b/c that soup was REALLY good and realizing that we suck as a family when it comes to doing ANYTHING.
We got under a tree in some shade, I got ice cream for the girls and I continued to try my best to use diaper wipes on BG to try to clean her up.... I flipped out and said that it was pointless for us to even try to do shit like this. I see friends on facebook take their kids all over God's creation. They're at fairs, on trips, in restaurants, hiking, camping, etc etc etc etc etc.... I can't even go to a damn firemen's fair without a complete breakdown. I asked BK how his tomato sandwich was and I quickly got the 4-1-1 on how he didn't even remember eating the sandwich because it was in the middle of me dumping my soup on BG's head. All he could remember was both of the girls screaming and he tried to stuff the sandwich in his face as quickly as possible.
After MY temper tantrum, we all ate ice cream and seemed to forget about the fact that BG could have been baked into a corn fritter. We played a few games, got some tomatoes to take home and bought a piece of watermelon to eat there (which BG and KT wound up wearing)...at this point who freaking cared?
We were at the fair for less than 2 hours..... we all had a meltdown at one point or the other. We all ate food and some of us got to wear it. As always, I envision these nice family portraits. I see friends on fb post all of these perfectly posed pictures.... parents and kids on trips, at fairs, at picnics.... in other places but within their property borders.... instead, this is what we have to work with:
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I couldn't bring it to myself to take a picture of her, covered in soup. It was pretty much like your worst possible Nickelodeon slime factory/projectile vomit/ corn bath. She was really freaking out because it was hot -- I'm just thankful it was a good 10 minutes after we bought it and it wasn't right out of the pot.....
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At least, during all of this hell, I did manage to get a photo of my newly highlighted hair.... the ENTIRE day wasn't a bust.....
We got back to the car....all sweaty, frustrated, covered in watermelon and corn. A few years ago, I thought that we only had 1 way to go (improvement) when it came to the tomato fest. Unfortunately, I failed again at reliving this wonderful childhood memory of mine. My nerves were shot. I couldn't handle more whining about leaving, more whining about the junk food she wanted to hear, frustrations about which lines served which food items, whining about BG wanting to get out of her stroller. The more I try, the more I freaking fail....
Less than 2 miles up the road, BK looks at me and said, "I think we should try to go again next week!"
He was serious..... I'm going to need a supply of Xanax and liquor......
We live in South Central PA and it's "fair season" here in these parts. My husband is from South Central IL and this is a new phenomenon to him. Well, not new anymore, since he's lived in PA for nearly 15 years or so, but it still is a concept he has yet to grasp.
Many of the "carnivals" or "fairs" around here are at Fire Companies. Some are larger than others. Some have rides. Most have games. They ALL have food. When I was a kid, I remember my mom taking us to the Tomato Festival in a teeny tiny river town, Washington Boro, PA. We used to play in the playground that was home to this fair other times of the year, but the Tomato Festival was definitely a momentous occasion. I can remember playing the games as a kid and probably getting some food and having a good time. There were no rides, but the games were pretty fun and it was a bonus if we could go with a few friends. Several years had gone by and I can remember going one year - I was probably 20-22 - with an old buddy from elementary school. We laughed that the people, played a few games, had good food...it was fun. This fair actually runs for 2 consecutive Saturday nights....they usually had a band.... It is always in the middle of July, so it's so hot you can barely stand it, but that's all part of it.
Our first year back in Lancaster (2010), we had KT -- at the time she was about 19 months old or so. I remember we went to the fair and she was too young to know what was going on, BK was not interested in this type of function and it was pretty much a dud. We got some food, didn't stay long and came back home. I was kind of upset that it wasn't the world's best time, but I figured that KT was still young...give it a few years.
We didn't go the year I was pregnant with BG (2011) or last year (2012) because it was not really an option because BG wasn't up to really doing anything yet at this point last year. I didn't want to torture myself. If I remember, the weather was rainy the one week and I think the other weekend, we were busy or I just didn't have the gusto to try to accomplish this task.
So that brings us to yesterday. 7.13.13. Here we are, a family of 4. A 4 1/2 year old experienced fair attendee and frequent flyer at both of our local amusement parks, Dutch Wonderland and Hersheypark. We've got a nearly 2 year old who has already hit her terrible twos, but can usually be pacified by some food and entertainment while in her stroller -- as long as we keep moving. A 39 year old father, fresh off back surgery, who has been having a REALLY difficult time, cutting short his already short temper and patience reserves. Me, an almost (gag) 34 year old mother, tired from staying up too late the night before with my cousin and friends, but hell bent on making this fucking Tomato Festival the whirlwind of a good time it was for me as a child.
The temp was about 98 with 150% humidity. I just got my hair done that day, and my hair dresser applied some extra good product to keep from frizz... this would surely put it to the test. BK had spent the majority of the day in bed. Firstly, he took the AM shift with BG....who had just been transferred to her toddler bed the night prior. She slept all night, but was up at 5:15 AM, ready to watch "T" (tv). He hung out with her until 7 AM, and then for the most part was in bed till my hair appointment at 12:45. At that point, BG went for a nap, so he lounged with our 4 year old until I got back. I got him out of bed shortly after 4 and we were packed up and on our way.
The place was packed (as expected), we strolled our way up this huge hill and I was sweating like a pig right away. KT saw a bounce house and wanted to bounce. $2 for that action and she bounced about 30 seconds and said she was "done." The girls convinced her to go back in b/c she had more time to bounce and she promptly came down the slide and catapulted about 10 feet, twisting her ankle. Enough of that action, it's not worth getting my "money's worth" of the $2, if we're going to spend the rest of the night in urgent care.
I'm STARVING at this point. I have nothing on my mind other than food. Katie wants to win a gold fish. She wants ice cream. I had fed them some food before we left, knowing that their choices at the fair wouldn't be what they typically would like to eat. Even so, we weren't starting out with ice cream. What would I have to fall on when the meltdowns started?
A big thing at these fire company fairs is chicken corn soup. It's my favorite soup. When it's made correctly, I would eat it till I exploded. Typically, the line for the ccs is out of control. The line wasn't that bad at the moment when we checked it out, I said "let's go." They had several windows for BBQ, hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken corn soup, etc. As I maneuver the damn stroller through the sea of people and on to my window (ccs), I grabbed 2. BK was supposed to stop and get a hot dog on the way, but he didn't. He wanted fries. They were in a different part of the building. Meltdown #1 started at that moment. This fair has been going on for 56 years. I am pretty sure they have the "logistics" planned out as to why they have things in certain places. However, they have a line for the main dishes, a line for the drinks, a line for ice cream and a line for the fries. I guess I don't think twice about it, because that's how it's been as long as I can remember. Instead, we get the dissertation from BK about how he hates the way it's set up and it's stupid that the fries are not with the food. Then KT starts..........."I want ice cream." BG is a sweaty mess and trying to unfasten her buckle. We pay for the soup (no hot dogs and go out to try and find a spot to eat. BK wants to get drinks for KT....the line only has ice tea.... luckily, I packed lemonade in a sippy cup....they each down their drinks in 11 seconds. I am trying to eat my soup quickly (as I burned off every last taste bud on my tongue) and BG REALLY starts to squirm and fight being in her stroller. BK is frustrated because now the fry line is a mile long, so he gets in line for a tomato sandwich. I thought about getting one, but then I saw it was $2.50 a sandwich.... screw that idea... I'll guzzle this boiling hot soup and grab ice cream.
As BK was getting his tomato sandwich (yes, I realize this sounds weird to folks who do not grow up around here, but it's quite normal to fellow Lancastrians), KT REALLY started to grow restless.... I'm shoveling my soup in as fast as possible...it's less hot now....or maybe my tongue is numb from the boiling soup. I'm trying to stay out of everyone's way, since it's a damn free-for-all with people pushing and shoving to get into food lines and game lines and to put their chairs down in a good spot for the upcoming concert. KT says "I want ice cream." Me: "Wait." KT: "I want a fish." I gave her $1 to try for a fish. I'm still trying to eat as fast as possible. She throws the damn ping pong balls at canon speed, not even getting close to winning a goldfish (totally not sad about that one). She threw the last ball and the lady asked her if she wanted to try again. "Yes," said KT.... I was like "woah woah -- we can try again later, let me finish my soup." She came back to me, whined for money for soup and a fish, and knocked into me. In slow motion, my soup went up into the air, and landed upside down on BG's head. Granted, most of it had been eaten and had cooled off...but there were still enough juicy, hot corn bits to land on my kid and make a hell of a mess. A quarter sized blotch of soup landed on KT's ankle. She SCREAMED like she'd been set on fire. People start looking, KT's screaming. BG's covered in soup and BK is screaming "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED" as he inhaled his tomato/bacon sandwich. I'm practically in tears and thinking I burned my kids, pissed b/c that soup was REALLY good and realizing that we suck as a family when it comes to doing ANYTHING.
We got under a tree in some shade, I got ice cream for the girls and I continued to try my best to use diaper wipes on BG to try to clean her up.... I flipped out and said that it was pointless for us to even try to do shit like this. I see friends on facebook take their kids all over God's creation. They're at fairs, on trips, in restaurants, hiking, camping, etc etc etc etc etc.... I can't even go to a damn firemen's fair without a complete breakdown. I asked BK how his tomato sandwich was and I quickly got the 4-1-1 on how he didn't even remember eating the sandwich because it was in the middle of me dumping my soup on BG's head. All he could remember was both of the girls screaming and he tried to stuff the sandwich in his face as quickly as possible.
After MY temper tantrum, we all ate ice cream and seemed to forget about the fact that BG could have been baked into a corn fritter. We played a few games, got some tomatoes to take home and bought a piece of watermelon to eat there (which BG and KT wound up wearing)...at this point who freaking cared?
We were at the fair for less than 2 hours..... we all had a meltdown at one point or the other. We all ate food and some of us got to wear it. As always, I envision these nice family portraits. I see friends on fb post all of these perfectly posed pictures.... parents and kids on trips, at fairs, at picnics.... in other places but within their property borders.... instead, this is what we have to work with:
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Ice cream makes A LOT of crappy things better....
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KT didn't want to leave the fair. She wanted to play on a swing set that was insanely full of crazy fair folk and their dirty kids. We explained to her that we have a swing set at our house and her sister was covered with corn, but she didn't really care. This was the picture I took of her when we got home, when she was pissed we actually did leave the fair and came back home (where there IS a nice swing/play set out back).
We got back to the car....all sweaty, frustrated, covered in watermelon and corn. A few years ago, I thought that we only had 1 way to go (improvement) when it came to the tomato fest. Unfortunately, I failed again at reliving this wonderful childhood memory of mine. My nerves were shot. I couldn't handle more whining about leaving, more whining about the junk food she wanted to hear, frustrations about which lines served which food items, whining about BG wanting to get out of her stroller. The more I try, the more I freaking fail....
Less than 2 miles up the road, BK looks at me and said, "I think we should try to go again next week!"
He was serious..... I'm going to need a supply of Xanax and liquor......
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