Friday, October 11, 2013

Occupational Hazard of Parenting #19 - This won't be like this for long......

When KT was born, Darius Rucker (AKA Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish) released a song called, "This won't be like this for long."  Here I was, post partum (not depressed, but just plain ole hormonal), and there's a damn song on the radio every 3 seconds about this brand new father to a baby girl, and she's a fussy baby and they're adjusting to the new parenthood thing........   and before you know it, she's in preschool and then she's grown up and married and gone.   THE END.   In less than 5 minutes, this brand new baby is out on her own, doing her thing, living in other states, and you're sitting there alone, wondering where the hell the time went.

This is simply too much for a new mother to even think about comprehending, so here I was, driving around the town, with a quiet baby in the backseat (she was such a good baby in the car, quite different from her younger sister), SOBBING as if I was 6 years old and someone shot my dog.  I am pretty sure she hadn't yet slept through the night...let alone walked, talked, went to the potty, rode a bike, went to school, played sports, drove a car, went to prom, etc etc etc etc.....  And BOOM she was out of my life.  
Enter the second verse.....  this baby girl is 4 years old.....   she's crawling up in bed..... she's going to preschool and doesn't want to go.  She's scared and sad....but then all of the sudden, she gets over it and doesn't miss her parents at all...she doesn't need us anymore!    Seriously!  Tears.....  

I'm listening to this song and seeing this face and wondering why the hell the world is so cruel and that she's going to leave me and won't need me anymore.....


Fast forward nearly 5 years.    This same little girl is going to be 5 in a month and a half.   I do not believe it.   This is her second year of preschool.   She'll be in kindergarten next year.   

I'm driving home today, and this song came on SiriusXM..... I saw it on the radio (they flash the name/artist) before the song started to play and cracked a smile.   I thought.... I got this.

2 notes into the song...I'm inconsolable...     

I guess some things never change.   I am pretty sure that I'll never be able to hear that song and not thing of her in the backseat of my Honda Civic.... I'm OK with that too....   

The second verse came around and I can't believe she's 4 (almost 5).   I can't believe she's already done the walking, talking, the crawling, potty training, she loves school.  She's so perfect..... well.... I guess she has her moments, but who doesn't?  


Whenever she did wake up in the middle of the night (which was infrequently), I never did get upset because they were some of the most fun, most cuddly times.....   I guess that's why sometimes, even though I am exhausted, I can laugh at the fact that our 2 year old never sleeps and just wants to hang out....  some day she'll sleep....some day she'll be in college too, so I am just gonna enjoy our time.... whether it's snoozing in separate rooms or watching Yo Gabba Gabba in the middle of the night!  


I am gonna just chill with my "baby" BG while she's still "small."   Before I know it, she'll be in school too....  Thank God I'm gonna be an Aunt soon..... When you're in the thick of it, you think this is going to be your life forever....   changing diapers, giving baths, late night feedings, temper tantrums, fighting to get them dressed/hair brushed/teeth brushed/in bed/out of bed/wear a coat, etc etc etc etc etc etc.... but in reality, it's a blip of time.

Damn you, Hootie.  :-)   Seriously, the best song ever.


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