Occupational Hazards of Parenting: Occupational Hazard #11

Before anyone reading this thinks that I'm going to get on a soapbox and rant and rave about children with ADD..... relax. The ADD to which I refer in this blog affects the parental unit, specifically Mommy in our house. It's becoming an epidemic; I don't see any end in sight.... at least for many years.

I have always considered myself pretty good at multi-tasking. I've even listed it as a "strength" on a number of resumes, job applications, etc etc. It takes a fair amount to stress me out when it pertains to small tasks (not huge decisions regarding money or our house or our future). However, I always was on top of day to day things like running errands, laundry, dishes, mailing out cards, etc etc etc....until December 3rd, 2008. This was the day that I became a mother.

Fast forward three and a half years later, add an almost 1 year old to that mix, a full-time job and a husband with a job that requires him to travel, a cat, and a house.... I'm nearly meet the requirements for a padded room.

Today, we had a picnic to attend in the afternoon. I needed to go to the gym, and BK had plans to attend a smoking convention (smoking meat, nothing squirrely). After my trip to the gym, I needed to shower, straighten my hair, get the girls ready and head to Lititz. Sounds easy enough...... right.

I knew we had a lot to do and I didn't know if I should just go balls to the wall and dive straight in to the task at hand, start drinking to numb myself from the task at hand, or take an extra Synthroid for a boost to my metabolism..... I chose to just go balls to the wall. There would be beer at the party to wind me down if necessary.

I was able to shower and dry my hair while BG was still in her crib for her morning nap. I felt like I was ahead of the game. My hair is dried, but just needs to be straightened. The plan is to feed the girls, finish hair and hit the road....The process below started approx 12:45 PM this afternoon.

BG in high chair for lunch
KT starts to dig in the fridge, comes out with go-gurt
I tell KT to chill out a second, I will get her lunch
BG is screaming in high chair because she ate the Puffs I put there to hold her over till I busted out the real food
More puffs
Open the go-gurt, KT runs downstairs
Cut up food for BG, plop on tray
Both are content for a second, open dishwasher to unload
KT wants a drink (at this point, she can't come back upstairs because the baby gates are up)
I get KT a drink and take to the step, she grabs
I unload 3 plates
BG is tired of the food she has, starts screaming and throws her meat on the floor
I cut up watermelon for both kids
Watermelon on BG's tray/Lunchable and watermelon downstairs to KT
I take 5 minutes to explain what a "lunchable" is
BG starts to climb out of her high chair, secure her with straps/buckle
Finish unloading the bottom part of the dishwasher
KT wants a "show" on TV, I climbed over the gate again and asked her what she wanted to watch. Her typical response, "What do we have." I recite the same 25 shows we have on DVR for her. She selected The Movers and then we had to recite each episode.
BG screams because her food is eaten/on the floor/smashed all over her.
I unload the top tray of dishwasher - prepare one of the bottles that was just washed.
As I unload the other bottles, I take a few moments to assemble the extra bottles (we have the devil Dr. Brown bottles with 32 pieces each).
BG screams because I'm taking too long.
KT calls from downstairs. "Mommy, I pooped and peed."
Go downstairs to help her on the potty, climbing over the gate up and down the steps
While I was downstairs, I switched over the laundry and started another load.
Took clean clothes to the living room to fold them (ha ha)
Forget about the half assembled Dr. Brown bottles.... I finish BG's and hand it to her.
Go back to finish the dishwasher, BG screams and throws bottle.
BG out of high chair for me to feed her and I notice she also needs a diaper change
BG on the floor, screaming and not staying still while I change her diaper
Clean diaper, baby on my lap, bottle in mouth
Realize I don't have my phone or ipad (I like to play a few games of yahtzee while I feed her)
Grab iPhone and sit back down
BG is eating and KT comes to the top of the steps, that damn Dream Lite commercial is on again and she reminds me, yet again, that she wants one.
BG hears KT and squirms to see what is going on
Home phone rings - I get up and it's a telemarketer
BG finishes bottle, crawls over to dishwasher (which is still open)
I put silverware/knives away - 2 seconds before she grabs the knife.
As I finish bottles, I see BG crawled over to the fridge and has something in her mouth
Finger sweep of the mouth (something I'm getting used to doing often) produces a magnet from our fridge - KT got a princess magnet collection and this was one of Cinderella's earrings.
Load dishwasher while BG pulled all of the tupperware and food out of 3 cupboards. She also took oranges out of the cupboard and threw them over the gate going upstairs and rearranged 3 of the dining room table chairs.
I pick up BG and the gate, brought them downstairs and plugged in straightener
Put gate up just as BG was making a run for it, BG screams because she can't crawl up the steps.
I start to straighten hair
KT is mad b/c BG is on a chair and she can't see the TV
I dump out a few blocks for BG to play with while I do my hair
BG follows me into the bathroom and grabs cat food
Put flat iron down, get cat food from BG and up out of the way
Back to hair while BG crawls towards the toilet - seat was down, but I just don't want her to mess with the thing.
KT decides to play her video game in the "playroom"
BG follows her
A few more passes with the flat iron, KT screams that BG is in her way
I walked in and BG was no longer in her way, but standing on top of the Little Tikes Bus....
I helped her off the bus, she screams.
I decide to bring her back into the family room so I can keep an eye on her and closed the door to keep her off of the bus unsupervised
BG is playing with toys while I do my hair again, KT decides she doesn't want to play her video game anymore and returns to family room
KT asks me for more food as I do my hair. I explain we're going to a picnic where there will be food and ice cream.
I also explain to her that we can go as soon as I can finish my hair.
KT decides she wants to do a puzzle, I resume hair straightening activity
BG grabs puzzle pieces, KT screams
I recommend my desk as a puzzle station, since BG can't reach
KT moves puzzle, BG pulls herself up to the desk chair, causing it to spin
KT screams "I DON'T WANT TO SPIN, I DON'T WANT TO SPIN!"
BG laughs, I put flat iron down and move BG from the chair
BG screams
Miller (our cat) comes down the steps, BG goes to chase him.
Flat Iron for me....
Miller escapes the madness, BG crawls back over to the desk, but goes under it - hoping to play with the power strip that lights up pretty colors.
I tried to distract her and she crawls over to KTs orange patio chair, starts to stand on it and wave to all of us.
I grab BG, place her by the toys and dump 3 bins of blocks, books, and various baby toys on to the floor in front of her.
KT decides she wants to play with the blocks
BG screams when she has the one that KT wanted.......KT grabs it
KT screams when she realizes that block was full of baby drool
I finally finish my hair and realize we need bottles, cups and baby food
I lift 2 kids and myself over the gate to the main level. Start to pack BG's diaper bag
"Mom, the baby has something in her mouth" KT fishes out a piece of food that she had thrown on the floor and brings it to me.
BG screams
KT wanted me to lift her over the gate so she could go to her room. She has money that needs to go into her piggy bank
I place BG in her walker so I can just get the rest of this crap finished and get out the damn door
BG screams
KT lectures her about putting things in her mouth and tells her to "stop fussing"
BG's bag is packed and I realized that I was wearing basketball shorts and a tank and that I needed to change
First, I grabbed phone. 1:45 PM Text to BK "Are you still [at the smoker convention]?" He was, I was not about to wait for him to get home - we were rolling.
I sent BK the address of where he should meet me in a text and hear KT yelling that the water and soap was too high.
I ran up the steps to find that she had gone to the potty again and had been washing her hands with a ton of hand soap.
Found clothes, put on makeup, cleaned up the soap/water debacle
Fixed KT's hair and cut the rest of her nails (we only got half of them cut yesterday before BG's therapy)
Shoes on KT and me, grabbed BG, noticed she needed a new diaper
BG on the floor, she screamed while I changed her diaper, KT waited for me out front
Grabbed diaper bag, grabbed BG and walked outside
Both kids in car seats and I realized that I didn't have my sunglasses
Unlocked door, opened, cat escapes
I located glasses, made sure doors are locked (again), lights are off, throw the cat back in the house and got in the car