Occupational Hazard #16....ELF ON A GEE DEE SHELF!

Let me first mention, that our Elf on a Shelf was a gift from my sister for the girls.  It's something that I learned about last year or the year before and thought that one of these years, we could introduce it into our house/lives/insanity.  When my sister asked if I wanted her to get it for us, I was all for it and still am glad she was kind enough to purchase it.....  however, the thought/time/effort into remembering to keep the Elf going each night is definitely worth a blog....

KT's birthday is early Dec (another upcoming blog should definitely be her most recent birthday party) and I feel badly for that because it's freezing, it's close to Christmas AND Thanksgiving.  Since there's SO much going on during that time, I do my best to keep ALL that is Christmas until AFTER her birthday.  Luckily, since I'm never over enthusiastic about decorating for Christmas and because her birthday is just a few days into December, that's not a problem.

THIS year, my sister gave us "ELF" a few weeks before Thanksgiving.   She bought the GIRL version that comes sporting some earrings and eyelashes and she bought a skirt for her to wear.  It just so happens that BK was home one evening while I was getting the girls bathed and ready for bed.  I broke out the book to explain the story of the Elf and KT was actually REALLY intrigued.  I could tell she didn't completely understand what was about to go down, but she was interested and actually cared/understood more than I expected.

Since BK was home that night and the next day (I actually think we put it out for her to find on Thanksgiving), I made the executive decision to unveil the elf.  She spotted her right away and came to wake us up MUCH earlier than necessary on Thanksgiving.   She was excited...so was I.  It was a win/win.

That day, she was thinking about possible names and kept asking a ton of questions:

1. Is she real?
2. Is she frozen?
3. Why can't she move?
4. Can she play games with me if I don't touch her?
5. Does she have green eyes?

OK, so I wasn't figuring on the 20 minute interview on the internal workings of this elf.  It's a damn elf, it watches you, SO FREAKING BE GOOD! 

Not so much.   She wasn't being bad, but she just didn't understand how this elf got to our house and why she was sitting on our pots and pans and why she couldn't be touched and how she's going to get back to Santa........  sigh.

That night, we read the book again.....  talked about how she was a good girl that day and the Elf should relay that message to Santa....  

1. Is tomorrow Christmas?
2. Am I going to get presesnts?
3. Will the Elf move if I'm awake?
4. Where does the Elf go to find Santa?
5. How does she get there?

GO.TO.BED.

The next morning, Katie found "ELF" on (imagine this...) a shelf in the living room.  I figure if I kept her up high, the desire to touch the Elf may actually wear off and she can understand that the Elf is magic and can't be touched, and blah blah....  Day 2, she was named..... Katie came to me and said, "I want to name her Joan Jett Rockstar."  I said, well, Joan Jett is already someone's name and you love her and you also love the song, "Kiss me ONCEEEE," so what about Lita Jett Rockstar?"  

Katie - "YES!!!"

And with that, Lita Jett Rockstar got her name:

OK, so it's now the day after Thanksgiving and I thought to myself.... it's not even December and I have to hide this Elf HOW MANY MORE DAYS?   Praise Jesus for sites like Instagram and Pinterest.  You gotta love people that have entirely too much freaking time on their hands and can think of the most ridic poses/ideas/situations for this damn Elf.

I can count 3 times now that I woke up in the middle of the night and totally forgot to move the damn thing.....came downstairs, found somewhere that requires no thought whatsoever, in the nick of time.  KT loved it....   Whew....I may be getting off easily this year b/c she just wants to make sure Lita Jett comes back.   She doesn't care that I put too much creative effort into finding crap for this thing to actually do....  it's all about working your way into something.   There's NO reason to come out of the gate like GANG busters and use up all the damn good ideas this year while BG is too damn young to know what's going on and the novelty of this creeper elf coming to our house and posing in various places each and every night.

Lita Jett has spent time on the microwave, in in 2 poses on a ceiling fan, on a curtain rod, hanging from a cabinet above the toilet.....   it's all about the KISS method....keep it simple, stupid.

The other night, I started to stalk Pinterest and Instagram.   Honestly, Pinterest is enough to through me into an anxiety attack.   The site annoys me, mostly because often times, people rip off other people's ideas and try to act like they are so damn creative.  I give props to those people that post stuff (either on Pinterest or FB), and get compliments about whatever they did and instead of taking all of the credit, come back with something to the effect of, "I saw it on Pinterest!"   I guess the whole idea of the site is to post stuff to share so others can take part in the fun....people like me who are pretty creative in being sarcastic and can sure put on a good YouTube performance, but can't do a damn thing in the kitchen or with 99% of the merchandise found at AC MOORE.

I thought that I would give this creative thing a shot and I think KT has liked it.  The other night, Lita Jett hung out in a party van with some princesses, one of the triplets from Brave and a Lalaloopsy.

2 nights ago, I decided to try the zip line...

Boy was I proud of this thing.... that's a bendable bunny in the back and the Zoo Keeper up front.... I even incorporated Candy Canes.... festive, huh?

I was at my parents' house the night after this awesome trick and KT started to say how her Elf was hanging from a string in the sky....it was "so cool."   I reached to get my phone, to show my awesome stolen, borrowed creativity and SPLAT......my 1 1/2 month old iPhone5 went right into the soup we were eating.   Speakerphone didn't work, volume was up the whole way.  I could barely hear the phone ring and text messages....   I was trying not to freak out.  DAMN ELF!

We got home and miraculously, we were back in business.... I could hear music, songs, texts, Voxer, etc etc etc....   That Elf almost had seen her last day here at the Lair.  

Since all was calm, I decided to have another fun day with the Elf...again, stolen from folks much more creative than I:

I keep hearing all sorts of commercials on the radio/seeing commercials on TV that talk about the importance REALLY thinking it through before you purchase a pet for someone else for a Christmas gift.   It's not unlike owning an Elf on the Shelf.

Things to consider prior to the ELF on a Shelf Purchase

•  REMEMBER - this is by far the most difficult.   You think, are the kids in bed? Are they going to stay there for the night?  God forbid you move the elf prematurely.  I have a 4 year old that likes to ask 32 questions before I leave her room each night and tends to carry those questions into overtime to delay sleep after I DO leave her room.   By the time you actually realize the kids are down for the night and you stumble up to bed, half of the time the elf is forgotten and not moved.
• It's a competition.   Anyone can put your Elf on an actual shelf to "oversee" the behavior.  From what I have read, this isn't a "new" idea.   Elves have been on shelves for years and years and years and they used to just simply sit on the damn shelf and "watch" kids.  Now, they've got outfits and pierced ears and need to be part of a parade when introduced and need to be incorporated in to other toys, appliances, furniture, ETC ETC ETC to make things more "fun."  As previously mentioned, get yourself an account on Pinterest and Instagram to help alleviate this stress.
• Questions........  AS IF THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH QUESTIONS in my life...  KT is just starting to figure out this Christmas thing.   Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, because it shows she's got some brain cells), she doesn't quite like the idea of this creeper Elf and creeper old man barging in and out of our house at their own discretion whilst we sleep. Be prepared and QUICK on your feet when faced with the interrogation.
• DO NOT TOUCH THE ELF......   A few days into this jazz, I thought I was doing a funny thing by hanging the Elf upside down from our ceiling fan.  During our insane morning routine, I walked into the Elf, bumping her with my forehead.....  KT's eyes got wide.  I reached up and stopped her with my hand and I thought KT was going to throw up.   "Mommy.you.touch.Lita.Jett.Rockstar.   Her magic is gone."  Damn book and damn lying to my kid about how Mommies are the only people that can touch elves because we take care of our babies and if the Elf needs help while they're in a house, they can go to the Mommy.   WTF.... she bought it, let's move on.
• If you come up with a REALLY COOL, REALLY CREATIVE ELF POSE (original or stolen), please make sure the Elf is secure.  After my iPhone took a dive into some corn soup, we came home and I found the Elf, duct taped to the candy cane, on the floor.  I hurried to rush KT downstairs to the family room so I could rectify the situation before she had a coronary and I had another 400 questions to answer.   I guess I could have fallen back on the "Mommies can help Elves" theory, but Christ.... it was late, my phone and I had been through a lot this week.  I couldn't handle further interrogation.
• DO NOT START TOO EARLY.  I admit it; I jumped the gun.  It was too soon to start this Elf jazz.   I was overly excited to do it.   I had KT pumped up and BK was home; it seemed like the perfect time.  In all reality, do not start this mess prior to Thanksgiving.   I also think that I won't start it next year until after KT's birthday.... maybe have her come out ON her birthday.   That buys me about a week of creativity anyway...

Today, I pulled a few Christmas decorations out, since KT's birthday is behind us.  The good news about this is this opens up an entire new world of hiding places.   Praise the Lord.

Hey, I think I'm ahead of the game.... the Elf has been moved and it's before 11PM....  She's in a "new" spot that will be liked, even though she's already been on that shelf before.   She's never been in the stocking.   Sigh.....    

At least, I can save some of the "more creative" options for the 18 more days we've got of this ordeal.  I'm up for new ideas of where you've stashed your Elves.....  that way it's less work/brain power necessary to complete this daunting task each day.  :-)

With that, HAPPY ELVING!